Gossip Girl Review -- 1x06, "The Handmaiden's Tale"

Recap

The Party of the Week on last Wednesday's Gossip Girl is a masquerade ball, once again arranged by the peerless Blair Waldorf, who spends her prep time ordering Jenny around to get things. The poor girl even borrows a bracelet from a jewelry store Blair patronizes, believing she'll get to wear it tonight.

Blair and Serena are busy curling up in Blair's bedroom and discussing the plan for tonight. Blair is casually explaining that she's sending Nate on a scavenger hunt tonight, during the ball: she'll give him a clue leading to the first handmaiden, who will give him a clue to the second handmaiden, and so on and so forth until, eventually, he finds Blair. She concludes that if Nate finds her before midnight, he gets a prize. What's the prize? inquires Serena. Blair gives her a look that clearly says, My virginity -- duh! The most brilliant part of this scene is the way Blair nonchalantly explains the whole plan like it's a totally normal thing to send your boyfriend on a scavenger hunt for your virginity.

Of course, Serena's a little surprised, and even more so when Blair asks her to be the handmaiden who gives the last clue, saying she trusts them both. After making sure that Blair's certain of this kooky plan, Serena makes light of the awkwardness, the way I'm sure she's learned to make light of the fact that basically, she always, always wins. The girls move on to discuss inviting Dan. Serena insists he would never go to something so "pretentious." I'm sorry, I think that word is completely misused here. It's not pretentious to be rich, dress up, and get drunk. It's pretentious to believe you're too deep for such activities as having money and spending it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being uninterested in Serena's lifestyle -- but as the one who's sitting around and judging everyone else for their shallowness, Dan gets the Pretentious Award.

Aaaanyway. While this is going on, Dan is talking to his father about how he's not invited and says it's because S. knows he'd never attend something so pretentious. (Grr.) Just then, a mysterious entity named Vanessa -- the very name brings a significant look onto Rufus' face -- calls Dan on his cell and asks if he has her copy of The Crying of Lot 49 (which is written by the supposedly great but super-challenging Thomas Pynchon, reading whom is often the very epitome of pretentiousness). He gives her crap for getting in touch with him after a year incommunicado when he rounds the corner and -- there she is, sitting in his apartment like she owns the place. She's cute, dark-haired and dark-complexioned, and very smiley. And she's back in town for the rest of high school! I smell a threat to Serena!

Just then, Miss van der Woodsen herself calls Dan, describes the event with her typical bashful acknowledgment that it's "pretentious," and Dan starts being totally shifty, saying that the female voice Serena hears is his sister. Just then, of course, Jenny walks into Blair's room and Serena looks absolutely crestfallen, following up her description of the party with a "Have a good night" instead of an invitation. In the Humphrey Hovel, Vanessa brightly asks what they're doing tonight. In the Waldorf Palace, Serena says sadly that she thinks she needs a date.

Prep time for Saturday night: Nate wanders downstairs to hear his mother and father preparing for Eleanor Waldorf's party that night. Dan and Vanessa try to pick a movie as they wander along the streets of New York -- The Angelika is suggested, a theater that's great for seeing cool indie movies, and I love the Angelika so I guess I'm pretentious like these two. I hope their relationship gets nicknamed VD. Think that'll catch on? Anyway, Blair finds Serena a hot date, who IMs her later on. And Blair spends her prep time crushing the hopes of Jenny Humphrey, saying that freshmen never get to come and gently making her feel like an ass for having borrowed the bracelet. "Your time will come, I promise, now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready," she breezes. Lily asks Serena for dress advice and denies having a hot date, but her pants are very much on fire, as we will see later.

Anyway, Nate finds his dad's drug stash. And it's not marijuana, if you know what I'm saying. He calls Blair, but the girl is of course unavailable, so he goes to Serena for help. Having answered the door in a bathrobe, she acts all uncomfortable -- Serena honey, I'm sorry, the boy's already seen you naked, now just think how awkward you'd feel if it was someone who hadn't yet! Basically, just don't answer the door in a bathrobe. She's happy to comfort him, but when he tries to hold her hand she uncomfortably jumps up and kicks him out of the house, basically. For this scene, and basically the entire episode, Nate walks around like a robot whose emotive software has been destroyed by a virus. I know his acting is normally bad, but not this bad, so I suspect he pulled a Robert Downey Jr. on his dad's stash.

Night arrives, and the Humphreys resolve not to let their lives be ruined by B. and S.'s B.S. Dan cancels on Vanessa in order to stalk Serena at the ball (aka, "write his history paper"), while Vanessa, ditched, saunters into the Humphrey Hovel and encourages Jenny to crash the party ("Handmaiden is Jane Austen for 'slave,'" she counsels). Meanwhile, Rufus, who turned out to be Lily's date (duh), realizes he's there to make Bart Bass jealous and is both shocked and, when he sees Bart brought a hot young thing as his date, sympathetic. He also makes out with Lily "to make Bart jealous." Lily goes weak at the knees, but when Bart calls, she goes.

So now Dan and Jenny are at the ball, and so is the dazed-looking Nate. Poor Nate is doing really badly at the whole scavenger hunt thing -- there's an amusing scene where Kati and Isabel give him a clue that's actually about one of them, and all he can say is "What?" -- and Blair's getting upset about it. Meanwhile, Serena's dancing with her date and getting really bored, so the minute she excuses herself Dan waltzes in, so to speak, and sweeps her off her feet again. Vanessa finds them and gets all upset, saying that Dan said he loved her before she left! "Loved," Dan says, "In the past. In a pre-shaving, sixteen-year-old kind of way." Erm, ouch, Dan. She chokingly says it looks like he's traded up, and runs out. Dan runs after her.

But Jenny's having her own little drama, since the mask she's wearing hides just enough of her face for Chuck to mistake her for a new victim instead of someone he's already tried to date rape. She gets him to strip and then locks him outside. I was looking forward to an actual naked!Chuck scene, but unfortunately, Jenny only gets him down to undershirt and boxers. Cheap! She finds Serena and they have a brief girltalk about Dan, wherein Jenny convinces Serena that Dan really likes her. Serena gives her her own mask and sweater, and since they're both wearing yellow and have luxurious enviable masses of gorgeous blonde hair, it's kind of foreseeable that people might, just might, get mixed up about their identities. So Nate chases after Jenny, thinking she's Serena, to tell her he loves her. Then Dan, who changed his mind about the whole chasing-Vanessa thing, tries to follow Jenny around yelling pathetically, "Serena! Serena!" But Dan and Serena find each other eventually and avow their feelings once again. Nate gives up on Serena and finds Blair, but she says he didn't even try to find her and tells him there's no happily ever after. He arrives home to see that his parents have found "his" stash. And Vanessa apologizes to Dan and they decide to be friends. The end.

Whew. Masked balls are complicated!

Review

Gossip Girl had a major opportunity to go big and glamorous with the masked ball concept, but it didn't. The visual appeal factor was high, but the mistaken identities and intrigues were sort of minor and accidental. Instead, Blair and Serena were at an all-time high for tranquility, "doing besties" for real by supporting and trusting each other. I like to see that, and they make it feel real, and Blair's trust in Serena kind of breaks your heart because it's so doomed to be disappointed.

The introduction of Vanessa, which I realize came from the books, was just a poor choice in my opinion. She's an extremely annoying character who's always sailing into the Humphrey apartment like she's part of the family and asking prying questions about Rufus' and Jenny's love life, not to mention her being all up in Dan's grill all the time (to use an old and beloved phrase from Josh Schwartz's first TV masterpiece). She's also too easy a foil for Serena, too smiley (it's annoying!), too one-note a character (likes pierogis, movies with subtitles, pomo writers -- got it), and doesn't have any obvious potential to interact with the main characters outside of the Dan-Jenny-Serena bubble of social marginalization. Let's see something better than one of Schwartz's patented lightning-fast love triangles.

Best moments of the episode: Lily and Rufus simultaneously saying "I need a drink" after their big kiss; Jenny responding to Chuck's compliment of excellent taste with "Apparently not, I'm talking to you"; and the requisite primping montage wherein the various ball-goers pull on their mask -- Chuck, particularly, donning his in a dark, creepily-lit shot. Fun stuff, but next week I want more sass from Gossip Girl and less self-congratulating blather from Dan and Vanessa.

In Summary: Shut up, Vanessa. But the sheer genius of Blair's virginity scavenger hunt made the entire episode worthwhile.

The Shape of Things (TV-Related) To Come

A few weeks ago, I posted about the TV shows I was looking forward to in the coming season. With a few weeks of the season having passed, I think I have a general idea about what my posting will look like this year. There are some shows that I simply couldn't get into, some that are appointment TV to be immediately recapped and analyzed on this blog, and many on the spectrum between.

Without further ado,

Shows I'll Watch Each Week, Recap, and Review

Heroes: Though this season isn't up to the standard set by last season, I'm not going to pass up a chance to watch half a dozen gorgeous men cavort around saving the world each week, especially when one of them is Milo Ventimiglia.

Gossip Girl: Twistier than Lost, meaner than Mean Girls, and funner than The OC, GG is the highlight of my TV week.


Shows I'll Watch Each Week and Post About Once In Awhile

Pushing Daisies: This show doesn't always need a recap, because each episode is so stand-alone, but I'll definitely post about it semi-regularly, and keep up with it.

Brothers and Sisters: I unfortunately have a work shift during this, which is probably my favorite returning show right now, so I won't always keep up in time, but I won't fall behind with my favorite alcoholic family.

The Reaper: Great show from what I've seen, highly recommended and very funny but also takes place during a work shift, and I'm already weeks behind.

House: Still the same quality as previous seasons (with the only team of writers on any network, it seems, who never phone it in -- so to speak), but falls during the same work shift as Reaper.

Bionic Woman: It takes place during Gossip Girl, so what's a Josh Schwartz fan to do? Will keep up, but not necessarily faithfully; it's not good enough to motivate that kind of dedication.

The Office: This is actually appointment TV for me because my friends all watch it, but I won't be writing full reviews all the time.


Shows I've Dropped Like a Hot Potato, Despite Best Intentions:

ER: Maybe, in half a decade when the DVD release schedule finally catches up to this by-then-hopefully-defunct dinosaur of a show, I will watch season 14. But for now, I'm happy enough that my knowledge stops where Elizabeth Corday did.

Chuck: The world doesn't need both Chuck and The Reaper. And I think Josh Schwartz put all his Funness into Gossip Girl and all his Nerdness into Chuck.

Grey's Anatomy: Never even tried. I just couldn't bring myself to see where my once-beloved show had sunk to.

Cavemen: Could've been so-bad-it's-good, but I never got around to it, so I guess it's not in the cards.

Gossip Girl Review -- 1x05, "Dare Devil"

Recap

After the longest previouslies ever and one of the shortest credit sequences, Gossip Girl informs us of the event of the week: Blair Waldorf's annual sleepover (a tradition since the year 2000, each more decadent than the last, says G.G.) a lavish affair with yummy-looking cupcakes and lavish beauty supplies, for which she is planning in typical over-intense Blair style. But guess who's missing? That's right, Serena van der Woodsen, who is going out on a really-truly date with Dan Humphrey that night. Even the beautiful Dan manages to become unsexy while he prepares for the date by cashing in his piggy bank, which he still has, and which was shaped like a Ninja turtle. He wants it to be perfect, meaning that, of course, it will be a disaster.

But Serena is convinced it's worth missing Blair's sleepover and Blair, cunning as always, lights upon Jenny as a replacement, assuming she'll be an easy target. Jenny, poor dear, is all excited. Meanwhile, Rufus Humphrey is acting as immature as his offspring, wanting to visit his ex-wife in person to give her the news that his ex, Serena's mom, bought her first painting.

Serena's also worried, asking Jenny what to wear on the "surprise" date. Jenny assures her that the Humphrey men do casual Friday every day, but of course, Dan shows up in a suit to the surprise of a jeans-clad Serena. "Talk to me while I change?" she says, weirdly and kind of hilariously. Serena dons a black poufy mini-dress I'm not sure I like, but again, her hair is great, and they head out to a fancy place where a gauche Dan totally embarrasses himself over the menu (because poor people don't know how to behave at nice places, and apparently also don't know that fish can be creamed) and Serena considerately picks up the tab. They decide to move on to play pool in a more casual setting, and the date gets cute, although I loathe with every fiber of my being the ultra-tired boy-teaches-girl-to-play-pool conceit as a method of getting the characters into close physical proximity.

Meanwhile, Jenny shows up at the party with a dorky sleeping bag and even the maid seems to laugh at her. You're thinking She's dead now, if you weren't before, and Gossip Girl chimes in pleasantly, "Hope that Hello Kitty sleeping bag doubles as a parachute!" Ha. The Truth-or-Dare starts immediately with Blair's sidekicks making out. Jenny tries to refuse a martini with "I don't like vodka," but Blair evilly and truly says that it's gin, "as it should be." Peer pressure! Jenny succumbs, and soon the game escalates. When we next see the girls, Blair's pulling a fake-out on the receptionist at the Ostroff clinic so they can break Eric out and take him to a bar. It's quite cute.

Of course, the Ostroff center calls Lily, who immediately calls Serena, who left her phone at home. Desperate, she calls Rufus for Dan's phone number, which he refuses to give for Lily's lame reason that "Eric is missing... from his hotel room!" -- but, showing his true colors, he calls Dan himself and ascertains that Eric's not there. By then Lily's shown up at his door, and she coolly demands that he cook for her, leading to a bit of flirtation and reminiscence.

At the club, Jenny dares Blair to make out with the nearest sketchball, "and mean it," she says, thinking she's all wicked. Blair finds this extremely easy, and saunters back having also lifted the guy's cell phone, just as he crows about his girlfriend Amanda not finding out. She makes Jenny call the girlfriend, and Jenny starts out with, "This is Bla -- Claire." Hoookay. But she immediately picks up her game, following this up with the statement that she just shoved her tongue down the guy's throat, and ending with a Mean Girls-esque grin on her face.

Things come to a nice little climax with the requisite fistfight when Dan and Serena show up at the club to get Eric. Eventually they all leave the club. Serena yells at Blair, but Eric says he's glad for any company other than Serena and his mom, "even if it's Blair -- no offense." So Serena and Dan leave with Eric, Blair leaves with Jenny, Lily reluctantly leaves Rufus. Eventually Lily tells Eric he can come home now for real, and Serena and Dan, out on the streets, make with the smoochies.

The coup of the episode goes to Jenny: Blair dares her to steal a jacket from a mannequin in one of her mom's stores. The girls all run away while Jenny's in there, setting off the alarm, but Jenny manages to pull her escape off with panache, telling the police that she's Blair and that her mom's out of town but she'd left her jacket there, and oh, by the way, I have a set of keys, see? They let her go, and she strolls back in to confront a very surprised Blair with three smaller surprises: she's not staying the night, she's keeping the jacket, and she and Blair are going to have lunch on the steps on Monday. Blair agrees, looking absolutely charmed by this turnaround. As are we all.

Review

Well, what can I say? This show is like crack. It's mocking and mockable and twisty and knowing and also sort of weirdly innocent in the way that CW shows tend to be, with romances sprouting up on the streets of New York all the time and people earnestly talking about "who they are." I like Blake Lively more with every episode -- either she's improving or I'm just lulled into submission by the awesomeness of the show. The lack of Chuck was sorely disappointing, yet Blair brought enough tricks up her sleeve for the both of them, so nothing felt incomplete in this episode. Jenny's transformation was sudden and gratifying, but we all know it can't be complete quite yet -- look for cracks in her facade over the next few months.

In Summary: I'm cutting down the review portions of my posts about Gossip Girl because, as fun as it is to recap, and hopefully helpful for random googlers who missed the episode, I can't just keep repeating "this is awesome" every week. But, yeah. Awesome.

Gossip Girl Review -- 1x04, "Bad News Blair"

Gossip Girl Review -- 1x04, "Bad News Blair"

I missed the beginning of this week's Gossip Girl while fiddling with my new, super-finicky HD antenna. Once I tuned in, having switched back to good old regular-def, I was catapulted into a bonding sesh with Blair, Serena, and Mommy Waldorf. We hear that Blair and Serena are going to spend the day together, and they seem very happy in their reunitedness. Meanwhile, Chuck and Nate and dozens of their friends are going to go on a Lost Weekend, meaning that they will shut themselves in a hotel and do all the naughty things Chuck tells them to do.

But the Lost Weekend is crashed! By a stubbly man named, I believe, Carter, who graduated back when Chuck and Nate were teeny eighth-graders and went off to Do His Own Thing, which means that Nate, who doesn't have the guts to do it himself, admires him. "He looks intense," says the lovestruck Nate, to which Chuck replies, "He looks like Matthew McConaughey between movies." Oh, Chuck, how I love you. Chuck spends most of the rest of the episode hating on the stubble and its owner, while Nate continues falling in love -- excuse me, I mean totally asexual hero-worship -- with his new friend, only to discover at the end of the episode that his dad has totally wiped his trust fund. Oh no! Looks like now he might have to adopt that fanny pack.

Meanwhile, on the subject of Bad Parents, Blair's mom picks Blair as the face of her new line! Unfortunately, Blair is horribly stiff in front of the camera. She and Serena, once again BFFs, go to the shoot together and Serena helps her loosen up, and it's adorable and touching (really), but you totally know what's coming. Sure enough, next day, Serena is picked over Blair to be the new model -- Eleanor Waldorf tricks Serena into showing up alone by telling her that Blair is coming "later."

Serena's got her own drama on the side -- she keeps ditching poor annoying Dan Humphrey for Blair. To Dan (and to Serena, who, like Nate, chooses to live like a trust fund baby but constantly try to disown her own choices), this is kowtowing to the Shallow World of the Wealthy, rather than female solidarity or, hell, I don't know, trying to make up to your best friend for the fact that you stole her boyfriend. Anyway, on the day of the second shoot, Dan shows up just in time to disbelieve that Serena was tricked, just as Blair disbelieves her. They share a great moment of bonding in the hall, despite Blair's having been constantly mean to Dan the entire episode, and Dan's deeply-held belief that Blair is barely even human. They are so Pacey and Joey. I give it a season and a half.

Meanwhile, Serena confronts Blair's mom (who makes a hilarious, snotty, Mean-Girls-esque face at Dan when she asks what he's doing there) and quits. Eventually Blair realizes that her mom is the baddie, and she and Serena decide to steal all the Waldorf clothes and have a nice day out on the town, taking pictures of themselves and being generally silly and adorable. By then, Dan's out of the picture. Good riddance -- that deeper-than-thou thing is so sexy when you're in high school, as Serena is, but it gets tiresome afterwards!

So the first half of this episode was, I'll admit, a touch boring. It was nice to see Serena and Blair bonding and all but let's face it, we're here to see them bring on the mean. Chuck, of course, saves any scene he's in with his own particular brand of laid-back, rich-boy evilness. And once Blair's mom enters the picture, acting like a snobby high-school girl herself (the actress goes a little over-the-top for a woman of her age, which is what makes it so funny), the plotting and wickedness grows exponentially.

Plus, I love Serena and Blair being nice to each other. The photo scene was, though ominous, sweet as pie, and the last scene with the two out on the town was even more light-hearted and adorable. The dynamic between them is complicated partly because Serena, though she obviously doesn't mind attention, would attract it whether she wanted it or not. She's that girl who literally turns heads when she walks down the street (there's a scene this week that shows Blair noticing, and half-resenting, it). And her relationship with Blair is obviously colored by the fact that Blair understands why people are drawn to her friend, yet still can't help being envious of it. So it's sometimes impossible for Blair, or the rest of us, to tell, whether she steals the spotlight on purpose, or thoughtlessly, or simply because she has that quality, that charisma, that people can't ignore. Although I think Blake Lively is basically the last actress on earth other than Mischa Barton to actually possess that kind of charisma, she does have fantastic hair, she did a pretty good job this week and has great chemistry with Blair, and the writing is good enough for me to suspend my disbelief.

This episode really demonstrated the ways in which Blair is a great character. She's a huge improvement on her obvious predecessor Summer, who was shallow and bitchy at first, but was eventually turned into that spunky girl with a heart of gold we've seen in a dozen other movies. Blair, in contrast, does things weekly -- hourly! -- that are undeniably wrong and that heart of gold has kind of shrivelled to a tiny kernel as she works her way to the top of her social sphere. Dan's justified to wonder if she's really got anything going for her, but as viewers we can enjoy all facets of her awesomeness.

In Summary: Bit of a fall-off, but saves itself by the end!

ETA: good news - Gossip Girls was just picked up for a full season. For a link on this story and other meta-gossip about this show, visit gossipgirlchat!

Gossip Girl Review -- 1x03, "Poison Ivy"

This week's Gossip Girl opens with our protagonists, the rich and not-so-rich, getting dressed for school. Amusingly, every single girl shoves a headband onto her head. Is that part of dress code? Gossip Girl Voiceover explains that one thing, other than catfights, these guys all have to care about is getting into an Ivy League school. So the big social event of this episode is the mixer at the end of the week with the Ivy League reps (at which Blair's charitable society will also honor a community group). Here comes a quick recap, but forgive my fuzziness on certain details, as I watched this while surrounded by many talkative girls!

We're promptly informed which Ivy each character has been assigned to. Serena really wants to go to Brown (is this supposed to indicate to us that somewhere inside her there's a free spirit? Because, please); Blair wants Yale; Chuck settles on Princeton (I think because of a hot rep); Nate's been destined for Dartmouth by his father since conception; and Dan wants Dartmouth because of some intellectual reason I don't really care about. They all compete for usher positions at the mixer, and of course Dan loses out because he's POOR and there's CLASS CONFLICT (this is an important concept). Until, that is, Daddy Humphrey seeks out Mommy Van Der Woodsen and "offers his services," meaning sexual favors entertainment for the mixer, and secures Dan a position at the mixer.

Meanwhile, Blair and Serena have a little tiff on the field hockey, um, field, and Serena wants truce but Blair plays wounded. She decides to carry out "total social extraction" on Serena. What a great phrase. Secretly, Blair convinces Chuck to spy on Serena for her in a fairly flirtatious exchange; she pretends to be disgusted when he hints at wanting something special in return, but I think we all know these two unabashed schemers are destined to hook up. Chuck sees Serena heading into the Ostroff Treatment Center for family therapy with Eric and her mom, but Blair assumes she knows something big about Serena now, and outs her as a recovered addict when she decides to honor the Ostroff Center at the mixer!

Serena, who spends the early part of the mixer sabotaging Blair with the Yale rep, is now mortified and trapped; rather than outing Eric as the one in treatment, she allows herself to be humiliated. But Jenny, last seen bonding with Eric over his secret and promising never to tell anyone, immediately tells Dan what's really going on. Eric, order your "I'm with stupid" T-shirt now, because when you hook up with Jenny, you're going to need it. Impressed with Serena's selflessness, Dan withdraws his earlier objections to the fact that she's, you know, human and flawed, and they end the episode on a happy note. "If you want someone to talk to, or not talk to..." he offers, and she says she might take up his offer "to get together and not talk" sometime. Dirty!

Heroically, Eric outs himself to Blair, who, to her credit, looks absolutely devastated at what she hears; this catalyzes the best scene of the episode. Blair goes to the place where she knows Serena goes to think things over. At this special place, she finds a large ugly hat with a Serena attached to it, "reading." (Um, sure, show.) Eyes teary, Blair reads aloud a letter she wrote to Serena during Serena's year away, which she never sent. "Dear Serena, my world is falling apart, and you're the only one who would understand [...] Where are you? Why don't you call? Why did you leave without saying goodbye? You're supposed to be my best friend. I miss you so much. Love, Blair." There's a lot of tears and apologies after that, and it's (god help me) truly moving.

Aaaaaanyway. There are, obviously, a lot of problems with Gossip Girl. The class-conflict, parents-planning-everyone's-futures stuff is ridiculously un-subtle and Nate is so boring a character that I stop paying attention whenever he's onscreen. But Chuck is just delicious in his unadulterated evil ("Why should I be chosen to be an usher? I'm... Chuck Bass."), Blair is equally delicious when she's being evil, and the Gossip Girl voiceover is the syrup on top of the fluffy pancake that is each episode. (Dumb simile, my bad.) Josh Schwartz's work on The OC demonstrated his lack of ability to pace story arcs, and Serena and Blair change their feelings about each other about six times a week, but so far, I'm pretty happy with how things are moving along.

In Summary: Whoever's not watching this is missing out on high drama, low blows, and lots of general fun.

Gossip Girl Review -- 1x02, "The Wild Brunch"

Gossip Girl returns for a second episode in high style. Narrated by the title character, who packs on gems like "Looks like Blair and Chuck arrived with an appetite... FOR DESTRUCTION", Blair and Serena continue their power play in a ridiculously entertaining hour of teen soapiness.

Ready for a synopsis off the top of my sleep-deprivation-addled head? Take a deep breath...

So Serena and Dan's date ended with a wave from Dan, which, OMG TEH TERRIBLE, so he goes to "wait for", aka "stalk", Serena at her hotel. Meanwhile, Nate, last seen deeply regretting his promise to cut Serena off, also decides to stalk, leading to an uncomfortable couple of minutes. Serena's off trying to win Blair back again, only to find out that Blair knows she slept with Nate, so... no dice. Blair thinks Serena better not show up at the big brunch today! Anyway, Dan wins the standoff, mainly because Chuck comes and distracts Nate right as Serena's getting back, and Serena wangles him an invitation to the big brunch.

At the brunch, which is staffed by gray-painted people posing as rock statues (yeah, I... whatever), things get ugly. Chuck and Dan give each other "hateful," aka "subtextually homoerotic," glances; Nate gives Serena "meaningful," aka "vacant" glances. Nate convinces Serena to meet him upstairs in Chuck's suite so they can talk, but then stupidly lets Blair bring him to Chuck's suite for Blair's deflowering. Whoops. I must say, I wouldn't betray my best friend for someone that stupid. Blair's a wee bit annoyed and runs downstairs to reveal Serena's big sin to Dan. The five main characters stand in a circle and get all dramatic; things end with Dan pushing someone, causing a big accident (Blair's face at this is priceless, a battleground between her cool facade and her glee at the dramatic success of her scheme), and ditching Serena. Last scene, Nate and Blair make up.

Whew. Then there's Jenny's pursuit of popularity, for which she takes Blair's cast-off designer dress in exchange for support against Serena, and Dan's dad flirting with Serena's mom, who's sleeping with (I think) Chuck's dad. Or possibly Dan's dad. But hell, does it matter?

Blake Lively (Serena) definitely improved this week, in my opinion. She still does the pursed-lips thing that I thought Keira Knightley might have taken out a trademark on, but less often. Leighton Meester (Blair) is fantastic in a way I didn't notice last time. She has a bit of a big-sisterly vibe with Jenny, but her flashes of concern, even tenderness, for the younger girl are so intertwined with her need for power over both Jenny and the larger social world. It's crazy and complicated. Weird for that to happen on this show.

Half the time, when I laugh, I don't know if I'm laughing at or with Gossip Girl... and I don't care. The sheer delighted over-the-top-ness of this show just sweeps you along. The dialogue hits a perfect combination of cliches, Clueless, Bring It On, and The OC circa "The Model Home." It's audacious and ridiculous and slickly-commercialized and, yeah, kind of silly, but... awesome.

In Summary: Soon we'll all be calling each other by our first initials. It's that addictive.

Related
09/21/07: Gossip Girl Pilot -- Full Review

Gossip Girl Pilot -- Full Review

In the frothy pilot of Josh Schwartz's new show Gossip Girl, Kristen Bell narrates as Gossip Girl, an anonymous internet blogger who texts everyone in a Manhattan prep school to keep them updated on the doings of the It girls. Blonde ice-cold party girl Serena has returned to this world from a year off for mysterious (brother's-suicide-related) reasons to find that her erstwhile best friend Blair, the virginal brunette, is occupying her spot at the top. Blair's boyfriend Nate is just a touch too happy that Serena's back -- turns out they slept together right before she left -- and when Blair finds out, the catfight's back on after a brief reunion. Meanwhile, friendless child of divorce Dan, who's been "romantically" interested in Serena for years (read: "stalking"), manages to charm Serena on the night of a big party.

Fistfight? Check.

Big party as backdrop to climax? Check.

Perky use of abbreviations in inappropriate places? Check.

The spirit of The OC has totally returned to us. A little less funny, a little bit more unabashedly girly, Gossip Girl is like cotton candy. I have to admit, I couldn't have enjoyed it more.

A rundown: Kristen Bell makes as good a V.O. here as on V.M. If you found Blake Lively's seductive-blonde mannerisms annoying in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, you'll want to rip your hair out when you watch her in this (join the club). Leighton Meester is mediocre as Blair, Chace Crawford (Nate) and Penn Badgley (Dan) do a great job of supplying pretty faces (and not much else) as Serena's moony suitors, and Ed Westwick alone has a little life in him as the villain, Chuck.

Terrible actors? Check, check, check, check.

In Summary: All snarking aside, and all considerations of quality aside, if you're the target audience for this show (and you know who you are), then you should set aside an hour on Wednesday nights to squee. And if you're not in the target audience, but you're willing to be entertained... you might still want to check out Gossip Girl.

My life as a TV viewer just got a whole lot better.

It's too late to write a full-fledged review tonight, but I have this to say: I feel like the first season of The OC met the movie Mean Girls and popped out a snarky, cheesy, sex-and-booze-filled, shiny little baby pilot.

What did they name it? Gossip Girl.